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If you don't have a feeling of sexual desire, sex of any kind, either with our self or a partner, isn't going to feel very good.We achieve desire any number of ways, but it is generally not primarily (and certainly not solely) physical, but instead also sensory -- based in all or any of our senses of sight, sound, smell, touch, taste - emotional, intellectual and, when we're talking about sex with someone else, interpersonal.Sex is something we have to learn on our own by understanding ourselves and our bodies.Only then can we communicate with a partner about what we like and what we need, and really get a grasp on the whole of our sexual life.So, while we can safely say that for pretty much everyone, everything has to really start with desire or arousal, and that people rarely experience these stages in order, it's sound to leave room for the fact that sometimes we might skip past one stage and land at another.Desire, in a sexual context, is the strong physical, chemical, intellectual and/or emotional wish or want to participate in any sexual activity; to experience a desire or urge for some kind of sex.Arousal is a state of sexual excitement that sends messages to your brain which create physical changes and sensations in your whole body as well as your genitals, "readying" us for sex of any kind.When we're aroused, our blood pressure rises, our heartbeat and breathing quicken, and our body becomes far more sensitive and receptive to touch.

For instance, we might become aroused by being kissed or touched, but we may also become aroused simply by the sound of someone's voice, our own thoughts or our creative imagination.

Sorry Charlie, but while we're all human, and plenty of people identify as men or women (and plenty are also male or female), that doesn't mean we all function the same way sexually; not even close. The kinds of articles are the sort of things that let people make millions selling magazines and books with the titillating promise that they can make sex "easy" or have all the "secrets." However, those tips are often useless as a whole, and can only serve to cause more frustration, dissatisfaction and confusion.

It's not too hard to understand why people ask things like, "What makes a girl orgasm? They don't really solve your problems or answer your questions well, and you're also out the money you spent, ya big sucker.

For each of them, the stage proceeding can be vital to moving on to the next one.

Not everyone can skip around randomly through them -- though we can sometimes toggle between -- they usually tend to follow on some kind of continuum, just like we have to learn to stand up before we can walk, but often enough, we can toggle back and forth between them once we start from a place of desire.

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